


How I Got Your Father- Episode I

by DCM3M3



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Awkward Crush, Bisexual Male Character, Boyfriends, Demisexuality, Emotional, Fanfiction, Gay Panic, Geek Love, M/M, Multi, Sweet/Hot, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCM3M3/pseuds/DCM3M3
Summary: Conner Kent (Prime Earth version) is cocky, powerful, arrogant, extroverted, most definitely into guys AND gals, but above all else- he’s in love! With a guy....Who is (probably) straight...But he can’t stop thinking about blue eyes and what had to be the sweetest, pathetic display of a laugh in all of existence.______Timothy Jackson Drake is a ‘player,’ highly intelligent, quite, introverted, most definitely obsessed with his work, and above all else- lonely. Unhappy.... hurt....but he’s made a new friend who makes him feel things he hasn’t felt since ending things with his girlfriend, Stephanie._____-Slightly Yandere themes-Coming to terms with sexuality-Curse Words-Sexual References-Hot Scenes; no actual sex scenes.
Relationships: Raven/Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	How I Got Your Father- Episode I

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the tik toks by DCMeme

_** Konner P.O.V.   
  
** _

I love Mondays- which most say is total bullshit, but I do.   
  
Because Jump City is practically dead.   
The most action we get on Monday is a few petty crimes like theft or violence among citizens; which the police normally take care of- if they can. 

There is no training on Mondays.   
StarFire and Nightwing think it’s good for us to have some down time- so no training Monday or Friday. The training rooms are literally locked down; of course that Wayne kid had a hissy fit, but no one gave a shit for his opinion.   
  


But you know what I hate about Mondays?-  
  


“WHY THE HELL IS IT THAT THE WIFI NEVER WORKS WHEN I NEED IT?!”   
  
-Beast Boy and Cyborg. 

Every Monday, and I mean _every_ Monday, the Tower WiFi just decides to not work.   
I honestly never noticed, since I used Clark’s Data.... which I totally don’t drain on purpose (;

I myself am currently in the kitchen looking for something to eat in this hell hole, when the green guy comes in screaming his head off _again._

“Me, Bart, and Jaimie-“

”Bart, Jaimie, and I.” Raven corrected as she flipped a page in her book- her hood making a shadow cast over her eyes; meanwhile Damian ate peanuts in a bean bag chair by the entrance. Scrolling through his phone with his Great Dane at his side, the animal was almost asleep when the sound of Green exaggerating made him jolt awake with a growl.   
  


“-were playing Space Race together! I WAS WINNING!”   
  
“One, I doubt you were actually beating Bart at any racing game ever,” Cyborg sat up, “and two, I told you that the system needs reconstructed both _completely and manually._ That’s a 7 hour job for me,” He stood, wiped his mouth, and put a hand on the shorter boys shoulder with a smirk, “and I’d rather not waste my time off working in the cellar for literally just you.” 

“Hey!,” he put his hands on hips, “Rude! I’m not the only one whose annoyed!!!   
  


“Yes you are.” Raven commented, exiting the room, her head still in her book.   
  
“You’re the only one who cries about it, Logan.” Damian said with a roll of his eyes, looking over at me and arching a brow. I just stared at him. 

”What?” He snapped, annoyed. 

“You are the last of my apples, didn’t you?” I asked, more of a statement than a question. 

“Perhaps if you had awaken soon enough, and not wasted your morning resting up after your evening of carnal pleasures, you would have had your fruit.”   
  


“Fuck you.” I deadpanned. He is such an asshole.   
  


I settled for a bowl of fruit- sadly without apple slices- as my breakfast.   
I’d have to get more when I went and visited the Kent’s. Maybe convince Ma to make me an _actual_ breakfast.   
You know: pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs...

I smiled at the memories I’d made there.   
One of the only places in this planet still worth saving.   
Also one of the only reasons I find being related to Clark tolerable.   
  


“Find, then!,” the teen pulled out his phone and hissed,”I’ll just call my man TJ.”   
  


I walked out just before Cyborg.   
At the corner of my eye, I could see Damian stand up and heard him yelling.   
“You will _not_ be inviting Drake onto this facility!”

”Screw you, dude, I wanna kick Bart’s ass at Space Race-“

I don’t know what happened after that, I tuned them out, but not 5 minutes later I heard Green screaming.

* * *

I’d spent most of my day watching YouTube and shit on my phone, chilling in my room, and making the mistake of googling my sperm donor and Dad’s latest fight.   
  


Could they _not_ be in the same room without all that tension bullshit?   
I get they’re enemies and all that but yeesh, they don’t have to nearly kill each other to end their disputes.   
  


I watched Dad get cuffed- but he’d get out of it. Corrupt politicians and paying bail were basically his biggest flexes in life.   
  


I sighed and put on my t shirt and a Jean jacket- trying to not draw too much attention to myself, since I was playing the role of civilian tonight, and threw a cap on that Pa had given me.

When I walked out of my room, I really wasn’t paying all that much attention as I walked past a hallway to my right. 

But my eyes caught something just before I turned the corner, and I blinked, before turning around and peaking over the corner.   
  
What? I try not to use X-Ray when I don’t need it. It gives me migraines sometimes!   
  
I don’t know what it was I expected- but I’ll tell you what, it was _way_ better than anything I could’ve imagined. 

Some rando was on a latter- the ceiling open as they did... _whatever it was..._ that they were doing up there. 

Ya know how Nightwing is thick as hell?   
This dudes ass was fairly close to that, but the shape was- like- 100 times better.   
Also his legs were muscular and all, but not _as_ muscular as our leaders.   
  


For the love of god, please don’t be ugly when you step down. Please don’t be ugly. Please don’t be...

Sir, no one gave you the right to have a cute face _and_ hot ass. 

He hopped down with a grunt- _which was ALSO VERY ATTRACTIVE-_ and I got a decent look at his face as he turned around and waved at me-

WAIT, WAVING AT ME?!   
  
I managed to keep my blush down as I walked up to him and grinned, waving as well.   
Then I got an _even better_ look.   
  
His eyes were a rounded mix of blues with a few brown specks.   
His hair was black and went down his neck a bit, past his ears in the back, and had a natural center part to it.   
He was pale as pale could get- and he had bags under his eyes.   
  
But he didn’t really seem tired or sick, oddly enough. After all, he had enough energy to jump down a ladder and give me a tight handshake.   
I looked down as we shook hands.

His were literally _so small.  
_But his grip was like iron- and trust me, I know my metals- I’ve lifted every one known to man.

When he spoke, I took in a deep breathe. He smelt like coffee and freshly printed paper, off as that may sound. It almost reminded me of the offices in DP- only this scent was _attractive.  
  
_

Ah hell, has he been talking this whole time? 

I laughed the best I could.   
“Sorry dude, I zoned out a minute there, what’s up?”

He smiled. 

EVEN HIS TEETH WERE PERFECT- I wonder if he has veneers- AND HIS MOUTH IS EVEN PRETTY- 

“I said my name is Tim, Tim Drake. It’s good to meet you...”

”Kon-El. Friends call me Conner.” I grinned again.   
  
He wore a yellow, red, and black suit.   
It looked like he may have had a mask or hood attached, and across his chest was two yellow, belt-like straps and a symbol.   
  
“Good to know.” He said, then seemed to ignore my presence as he turned his back to me and leaned over to pull a bag out from under the ladder.

YEP- IT’S OFFICIAL-MY INTEREST IS PEAKED.  
  


“So, uh,” I said as he pulled out a laptop and some kind of wires or cables, “what uh... what are you-“  
  


”Oh, shit,” he groaned, lightly hitting the side of his head, then smiling down at me as he walked back up the ladder and opened up the laptop when he sat on the top step, “sorry! I get super focused on this stuff and kinda leave people hanging from time to time...,” he blushed a bit, “I’m Damian’s brother. Got a call about some technical issues?”

”Ah, so you’re a handy man?” I smirked as I leans against the wall, he rolled his eyes.   
  


“As if. I’m more like the family member who doesn’t come around unless absolutely necessary.”   
“So is WiFi really _that_ dire?” I joked, hand over my heart for exaggeration.   
  
He laughed.   
“No, actually. But Garfield and Bart furiously typing for me to fix their shit is. Those two teaming up causes absolute _chaos._ Even in a group chat.”   
  


By now he had the laptop on and the wires attached. 

I just looked at him. And then he glanced down at me.   
Silence.   
“So, uh, what did you say your name was again-“

”YES!” Garfield burst in and grinned. 

“Is it working?” 

“HELL YEAH!!” He high fives the attractive guy.   
For the love of god he said his not not 10 minutes ago and I can’t remember it?!   
  
His eyes distracted me, damn it. 

* * *

** _4:55 am_ **

I didn’t end up at someone’s house after the club.   
I _did_ end up sweating over a guy whose name I didn’t even know.   
  


He was just so small... but so fit...his expressions while he worked was amazing. 

He was just so focused, so serious.   
I hate serious guys. They are seriously the _worst._

But I’d risk a little heartbreak for a piece of _that.  
  
WAIT._

Isn’t he Damian’s brother? Didn’t he say that... I think he said that?   
  


One way to find out. 

* * *

🗡🥷🏽🐈⬛:

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵:Hey Damian can I get your brother’s number?

🗡🥷🏽🐈⬛: Which one? 

  
🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: The hot one.   
  


🗡🥷🏽🐈⬛: Listen Richard is engaged and Jason isn’t into guys. 

* * *

“LIKE HELL I’D WANNA SCREW JAY BIRD.” I hissed as I rolled over. 

* * *

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: I know that. I’m talking bout the one who came over and fixed the tower wifi.   
  


🗡🥷🏽🐈⬛: Are you serious?   
  


🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Why wouldn’t I be? What’s his name again?   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: Tim.

* * *

“OHHH” I grinned.   
‘Tim.’ 

* * *

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Ok, then. I want Tim’s number than please. Is he single? If not, is his relationship on the rocks or anything?   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: What the actual hell

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Just give me his number.

🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: I will not.

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Why not?   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: Because I don’t know if he’s into men or not. Also HE IS MY BROTHER. 

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: I know that but we all have our flaws. Just give me his number already.   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: No. 

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Fine. I’ll just ask Dick. Some wingman you are ): 

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: *sends pic of middle finger* 

* * *

Come on Richard, pick up your phone!   
I groaned as he didn’t pick up and I went to voice mail. 

Then I got a text. 

* * *

🤸🏻♂️🎪🧢: On stakeout. Call later. 

* * *

“Mother f*cker,” I groaned, looking over at the time, wondering if I could wait a few more hours to call him.  
I walked into the living room to find Donna watching a movie. 

“Hey, Don-“

”No, I don’t wanna start friends with benefits with you again.”   
  
“Wow. Ok. Good thing I wasn’t gonna ask. You know that tech guy earlier?”  
“Cyborg?” 

“No, no,” I shook my head and swiped a piece of her popcorn, “Short, muscular, tiny hands-“

”-who-“

”Really serious and smart-“ 

“Oh!,” she grinned, “Red Robin? Yeah! I’m friends with his ex. God love her she is so sweet-“ 

“Ex?”

“Mhm. Broke up yesterday after he-“

I walked away and heard her groan as I made my way down the hall.   
“So he is single!” I grinned.

I looked at the clock again. 

I could wait a good 4 hours for Richard... 

Not. 

* * *

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: So apparently Dick is on a stakeout with Kori.   
🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: So this is round 2 of me asking you for the hot tech guy’s number.   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: NO

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Seriously though, I asked around and Donna said he’s single. 

  
🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: I’m not going to give you Tim’s number.   
🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: Also he may be single now but he normally just ends up going back to Stephanie. 

* * *

Who now? 

* * *

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Stephanie? 

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Who the hell is Stephanie? 

  
  
🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: Spoiler. She used to be Batgirl.   
  


🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: The ginger?   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: No. She’s blonde.

🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: Whatever. I bet I could take her.   
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: I didn’t even know you were into the male species.   
  


🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: I go both ways. Now stop changing the subject and tell me more about this ‘Stephanie’ bitch.   
  
  


🥷🏽🗡🐈⬛: Just leave me alone.   
  


🦸🏻♂️❗️🔵: I want that man’s digits, Damian. Don’t make me call Rachel or bring Jon into this. 

* * *

He was quite for about a half hour, but I ended up getting my way.   
Another perk of being related to Clark?   
  


Jonathan. 


End file.
